Adrian

Voted 'Kirby most likely to lose their cellphone' a whopping 27 years running, Adrian is the middle child of Sandra and Tony and has never once been referred to as 'the brains of the operation'. An avid doer of very little, his hobbies include schadenfreude, making snide remarks about things and being offended by broad social trends.

At age 5, Adrian won two balloon animals at an Elvis Presley look-alike contest at Linwood Mall. It's all been downhill since...