A tennis coach or a Tui ad??

Hiya

Today is Labour Day, for those of us who live in New Zealand still, it's a public holiday. We've had a low key but pleasant weekend. Tony been studying (last assignment must be posted before next Sunday so end really is in sight). Last night we went to the newest Lighthouse theatre - called Lighthouse Cuba but actually it's not on Cuba St at all. Still nice theatre though parking not great. We saw The Angel's Share - a Scottish comedy about whiskey. It was a really clever little movie - all except the bit where one of the flatmates drinks vomit. I struggled to stay in the theatre at that point.

Amazing tale in yesterday's paper that is worthy of a movie all on its own. I'll summarise and add my own spin as you might expect:-)

The Taupo Tennis Club thought it would be a good idea to get a coach for their club, so Club President, Moira, started looking for one. Her friend from the Waikato told her about a wonderful coach from New York who was looking foran international experience. So Moira arranged for Mark Feinsod (No I didn't make that name up) to come to Taupo. Mark had never been out of the USA before.

Not sure when things went sour ut it must have been quite fast

He says:

Taupo's like Gilligan's Island. If they see a new person, you know they are gonna be all over them, especially a good-looking New Yorker. I'd get pulled over by the police just because I stuck out. All the girls wanted to have sex with me.

She says:

He didn't perform as the coach we thought we had employed, his ability was not up to standard.

The pictures of him with Jimmy Connors were probably fan pictures not coaching ones

He says:

I wasn't paid and I went hungry

Police say

He was picked up for doing an indecent act in public

He says

In New York everyone puts their hands down the front of their pants to keep them warm (I think he means the hands not the contents of the pants) I accept I don't know huge numbers of New Yorkers but I find it hard to think of Jane and her family all with their hands down their trousers!

Tennis club says

We could never afford a coach anyway - President way out of order organising this

Landlady(who kicked him out after 2 weeks) said

Feinsod had the "gift of the gab", but it soon became apparent he had delusions of grandeur. He would rave about how fit he was, but was overweight, chain-smoked and would stay up all night and sleep until lunchtime.

He says

his former landlady's allegations are driven by bitterness because he would not sleep with her. He sent the Star-Times an email, purportedly from the woman, in which she apologised to him and admitted to having a "crush" on him.

However the spelling and grammatical errors in the email make it look like Feinsod did it not landlady.

Whatever else happened the Mayor was brought in to mediate and ended up giving Feinsod money to buy something to eat - $200 which is more than you need for a Maccas

After mediation Feinsod got some money and left town at 2am on a bus to Auckland and flew back to the NY the next day

Mayor summed up Feinsod by

He was a strange character, I didn't know how true his stories were. It was like his elevator was stuck between floors.

All in all not Taupo Tennis Club greatest triumph